Strangely enough, the boyfriend did not appreciate it when I said I wanted Alexander Skarsgård for Christmas. Shouldn't have asked, then.

Bad idea: Yelling at me for no reason, slamming the door on your way out, leaving your car keys behind.

Fact: If you hear the spider on your tiles before you see it, you are allowed to run out of the room screaming.

That awkward moment when a word in your native language escapes you, but you know it in at least two acquired ones.

We are sorry, but sunshine is not available in your country.

@aenniontour Hmmm, sieht sehr lecker aus!

I felt like shit this morning. Then I looked at pictures of Lindsay Lohan. #uplifting

Why do clients send me texts for translation as a pdf? I am not a printer.

No, I did not fall flat on my face just now. I wanted to give gravity a hug. Thanks for asking.

Stupid weather, I'm sure my Christmas mail would arrive faster if I sent it with pigeons. Open your windows, they'll be right there.

@euletm Seems like you don't know what you are worth. Let me fix that for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrrdLO8fie0

@euletm Beim neuen Twitter oben rechts unter Deinem Namen findest Du "leave preview" et voila.

Let me tell you, sometimes I am glad I live in Europe. You know, that's this continent Sarah Palin isn't able to find on a map.

When there is a fly sitting on your computer screen, you cannot get it off by moving the mouse pointer. Not that I just tried that.

Today is one of those days where my grandma would say "As long as we have potatoes."

Dear Mr da Vinci. It is 30° C outside and my feet are cold. Any thoughts on that?

Let's clarify this, dear customer. The word "deadline" means till one of us drops dead, right? Right?

Grandma: The bag is light. Mom: Who's in a fight? Grandma: What's not right? (conversations of the hard of hearing).

@annasuzomozik Ach Fußnägel. Deshalb ist meine Wäsche vor einer Stunde vollgeregnet. Hab die Fingernägel blau. 1:0 für die Füße.