Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Why would the Death Star need a trash compactor? It drops its trash into space.
If you saw a giant as tall as a skyscraper, would you have the courage to bite its toe? ANTS ARE FUCKING BALLSY THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT
Every politician's favorite show? Home Improvement. They love it when Tim demands MORE POWER and then he destroys stuff and we forgive him.
Thinking of learning martial arts so I can punch someone through the open window of a moving car when they run a red light
Sometimes at night I black out and hallucinate for hours at a time
That feeling, when you're 12, and you get your first jacket with an inside pocket in it, and now you are essentially a secret agent
Me: "I like kids when they're not mine." Dad: "Me too."
I'll believe that directories are files when Texas executes one
TED talks are like fairly interesting blog posts read by someone who's really passionate
When people say something is "amazing" they mean it's pretty good. Only heroin is amazing
Bombing of innocents is always wrong unless you do it with flying robots because seriously that's just awesome
Hulu falls all over itself to tell me how I can "tune in" to my favorite shows at a certain day and time using an antique "television set"
A wage is a just a price. A price, for labor. So, minimum wages have the exact same effects as minimum prices.
You're annoying me with your spoilers but in 2 years when that show is on Netflix I'll annoy you more with my rehashing
You think Facebook's walled garden sucks? Try Google's unwalled kuzdu garden http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324731304578193781852024980.html?mod=WSJ_hps_LEFTTopStories#printMode …
My Jeep got unzipped-into last night. They didn't take anything because there was nothing of value in it because you can get in VIA A ZIPPER
Someday they will refer to this period as the Great Prohibition
Austinite, New Yorker, brogrammer, driver, skateboarder, lover, spy