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  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Gulf is the new black.

    • 293
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepcupcakelyndachopper4jkTrainedNinjadetroit_etJulieWahooswiftenhaalgrumpysalmon
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    AndrewInAction_IAmAntilia________tjapplerudym55g0nestillmagoonpedanticdarulz4me________
    IAmAntilia________llvvzzshariv67
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    It's Flag Day? Hand me that French flag. Yeah, the white one.

    • 267
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepbuck4ittMIBeerSlayerFlyoverFigiromideheckadecimalpirate_wesjuicymorsel
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    FlyoverFiGuessikatzeyewkalayleepirate_westatboy314________juicymorselFavstar250MRMweb
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    There is no "I" in "team."

    But there's an "I" in "Tim," and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team."

    So there.

    • 216
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepbuck4ittcupcakelyndaclick4amandachopper4jkTrainedNinjamissingblakesJasonBerlin
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    ameo02shiepsAndrewInAction_Feliciovsfyrret__Alabama_Moonmedicalsrugbyskunkhair
    PyrBliss
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Early photo of me:

    ~o ~o ~o
    ~o ~o ~o ~o ~o ~o
    ~o ~o ~o ~o ~o ~o ~o ~☺
    ~o ~o ~o ~o ~o ~o
    ~o ~o ~o

    That's me in the lead.
    #happybirthdaytome

    • 210
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepSmokepuff4buck4ittchopper4jkTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinLakeoconeebldr____grumpysalmon
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    ralphlehmann1AndrewInAction_kelly_willhitebigTman001ladyjazsjunkOut_The_BackmcderdPirate_Twinkie
    FlirtyNikkaYidago____________DiasporaBKWiseCrackerSoupPaxochka
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Just had oral sex from a blo-up doll. Or as I call it, inflatio.

    • 172
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepDi0nysus7________cupcakelyndaJiminyKicksItsdebastianeshurnejimandrewsmusic_Nickburt
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    docomarawhiteboysquaredMore_GorePrick_InTheWalljimandrewsmusicfreetheboobssuz2772itsjenwbitches
    Gutterinthemind
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Let's not all be too hard on poor Rush Limbaugh. I'm sure there's a methadone to his madness.

    • 215
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepbuck4ittchopper4jkTrainedNinjaAndrewInAction_JasonBerlingrumpysalmonreeshmang
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500Favsfavstar1000favs
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Haikus are so lame.
    You can just write anything.
    Garbage compactor.

    • 179
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepcupcakelyndachopper4jkTrainedNinjamissingblakesSlugmanV2JasonBerlingrumpysalmon
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    TiesandstripesJessiBlaze___GonnaBlowAdjective_JixSEANxiBrutalplanettOutOfTheBrewMariethra
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    I wish my entire bathroom floor was a urinal. Just like at work.

    • 192
    • FAVS
    dysolutionjreynoldmanNotoriousBeepcupcakelyndachopper4jkTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinreeshmang
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    NotoriousBeepsabertooth101itsJasonJeffery__CrystalMoonableMagicFalcontpurvis06christplatt______MikeSchism
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    You look like I could use some sex.

    • 164
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepcupcakelyndachopper4jkTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinreeshmanglove_shuntLicoriceNipples______
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    bearzconfuzionAndrewInAction_favstar1000favswcjuju____________blahblah_v2NyerereKBillupsNeatfreek__markdudlik
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Great minds think alike, but quick minds think of it sooner.

    • 163
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepchopper4jkTrainedNinjaAndrewInAction_love_shuntLicoriceNipples______Mela_Denotfaizzy
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    AndrewInAction_vinhlucMaruBean____tpurvis06KattsMeeowrcguatefavstar1000favsSexyInsomniac
    SexyInsomniac
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Broth is just tea made with meat.

    • 158
    • FAVS
    dysolutionNotoriousBeepcupcakelyndaclick4amandaTrainedNinjamissingblakesAndrewInAction_JasonBerlin
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    click4amandafavstar1000favsDizzblnd__________Favstar500FavsAlabama_Moon
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    This is the longest Priceline commercial I've ever-- oh, it's Boston Legal.

    • 148
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepclick4amandaTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinlove_shuntLicoriceNipples______notfaizzysenderblock23
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    ZoeAlexBPaul_Therien______nickbrandakhannafordjustinshanesthirdlanguagefavstar1000favsMisterPrankster
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    There is really quite nothing like the flavor of a rejected friendship invitation.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinlove_shuntLicoriceNipples______notfaizzyBoomBamBunnyCrystalMoonable
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    NotoriousBeepFavstar500Favsfavstar1000favs
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Saturday night: ✓
    At home: ✓
    Drunk on cheap wine: ✓
    Watching TV: ✓

    Social life: ✖

    • 136
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepTrainedNinjaAndrewInAction_love_shuntLicoriceNipples______notfaizzyBoomBamBunnyCrystalMoonable
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Bill_Xiongfavstar1000favsJake_Wm0garFavstar500FavsTitty_Katz________
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    God, I wish you guys really existed.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepbuck4ittclick4amandaTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinlove_shuntLicoriceNipples______notfaizzy
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Miracles4ring14__favstar1000favspoppingrocksFavstar500Favs
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    "I just threw up in your mouth. A lot." - penis

    • 131
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepTrainedNinjalove_shuntLicoriceNipples______BoomBamBunnyCrystalMoonableclownshoeninjaHeiressIson______
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Dizzblnd__________
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Just remember... you're unique.

    And sometimes "unique" means nobody knows what the fuck to make of you.

    *kisses your forehead*

    • 120
    • FAVS
    buck4ittTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinreeshmanglove_shuntnotfaizzyBoomBamBunnyCrystalMoonable
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    LazzLo_favstar1000favsWolverinesWifey__krev1986Dizzblnd__________jcgreenFavstar500Favs
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    I've had so much caffeine I can see my own aura.

    • 114
    • FAVS
    NotoriousBeepTrainedNinjaJasonBerlinlove_shuntKathy_LdadaoistnotfaizzyBoomBamBunny
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    BroerBikkelfavstar1000favsBattyJaniceDigivikiFavstar500FavsAvatar_unknown_48
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    Gonna go to the gym and break some hearts. Or my ass. Either way it'll be painful for someone.

    • 113
    • FAVS
    TrainedNinjaAndrewInAction_JasonBerlinnotfaizzyBoomBamBunnyCrystalMoonableroadkill3xTimmyJen
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    AndrewInAction_favstar1000favsFavstar500Favs
  • zombot
      ☣ ☠ ☢ @zombot

    They should make a larger version of the iPad so that when someone raises it at an event to take a picture, it’s easier to hit with a rock.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    buck4ittoblivion_litedadaoistjumsumtaknotfaizzyDJchykHerNameIsMudeugem
    • 63
    • RETWEETS
    afiqfaidhynep_haniftenoqsotongcilijumsumtakglamxoxoeugemMaybe_Tumorrow
@zombot

@zombot

self-hating narcissist