That's a participation award for showing up. RT @_sugahoney: Kevin Hart beat out Denzel, Idris, and Don Cheadle for Best Actor? Lmaoooooo

When I call someone I know from my work phone and they don't answer 'cause they think I'm Sallie Mae <<<

I could teach a class on how to properly enjoy a lazy Sunday...but I'm too lazy to do it.

+1 RT @rexhuppke: Just got my taxes done. Used "time spent on Twitter" as a deduction and now the government owes me $12 million.

But there will be fellatio in the moscato lounge. RT @chefwaites No sex in the champagne room

"If you're a gay man looking to bring something you can make fun of to a party, this is the CD for you!" #snl

I'm so glad Al Gore invented the internet allowing me to watch awesome shit like this  http://bit.ly/13Hi1V0  via @theadvocatemag

Like, who gives a fuck how she got here. She's here. And you will deal. #MadMen

The first half of that song is just an intense ass instrumental just to get your mind in that dark space.

I Will Possess Your Heart x DCFC RT @misszindzi: What are some of the best songs about Thirst?

@misszindzi I could never quite get a dramatic cat eye until I found this really simple guide. It may help.  http://twitpic.com/ccg172 

Just watched "Player's Club" and that movie is even funnier than I remember. It has aged like a fine 40 oz.

I've done some inexcusable things in my lifetime, but I have NEVER left a comment on a youtube video. I will always have that.

Bruh! RT @desusnice: All these ppl wearing ashes on their foreheads to protest LAPD burning Chris Dorner is touching.

Lord, why did I let that white man steal my wisdom teeth? They weren't hurting nobody. *rocks myself in this never ending line*

Don't dare offer me some tamales if they not wrapped in foil and made by someone's abuela.

True Life: I Would Get Drunk All Day Everyday But I Might Trigger The Alcoholism Gene... Plus I Got Bills To Pay

Yo! RT @thedillon1: I really hope Zoe Saldana's Nina Simone film includes the part of her life where she defecates on microphones.

#Liberation RT @desusnice: nothing as satisfying as unfollowing someone while they're in the midst of a multi tweet twitter rant

Man... RT @jemelehill: If you wonder why pro athletes go broke, it's because they face situations like this. Unreal.  http://es.pn/RwbfJF